Serial Victims look for answers!!

It seems for many victims that the first violation is just the tip of the proverbial ice berg.  For myself I had 8 male perpetrators and one woman.  it seemed like every time i looked for safety, I found a willing predator ready to violate me until he got bored or found a more interesting prey.

I have heard this story many times from other survivors.  We all feel like we are somehow branded, which tells all predators not only that they can sexually violate us, but probably do it with impunity.  The first offense was violent and disgusting.  The second was by a priest I hoped would protect me from the first.  What I thought was care and healthy attention was really grooming, so he could have his turn.  When a second priest entered the picture, I thought I had been rescued, only to learn that they were really a team and the two of them got their sexual gratification by violating me in every way they could imagine.

At some point I thought this was my lot in life and that every kid went through it.  I simply shut down.  Somewhere, while being abused by the priests, I stopped being a person and became a thing.  I had no feelings, no tears, no expectations of a life that did not include sexual violence.

This blog is not to bemoan my situation, but to consider what happens to a child that makes them so vulnerable to the second, third and future predators. When a child tries to tell and is met with "Uncle Johnny would never do that". Grand pop wouldn't do that, you must be making it up"  or "Shame on you for saying such nasty things about your brother!!"

These mindless responses to a child, trying to express the most horrifying experiences of his life, tell him that there is no help, no one actually cares and there is nothing he can do to stop it.

There is nothing more important in the life of a child than protection by the responsible adults.  A safe enviroment allows them to grow, prosper, be a whole person and have healthy relationships.  Not experiencing the first violation as a child hopefully means that they will never experience violation. If you are reading this, learn what the behavior of a predator looks like, understand the signs that a child is in trouble--have the courage to to face down those that would ignore or minimize the harm of sexual abuse.

BSA leaders-Protectors of the Perversion Files!!

Among the list of cases in the perversion files was one where a child molester actually negotiated that, if the BSA would keep silent about the charges, he would resign.  This single case is at the heart of corrupted values in the Boy Scouts of America.

This is how the BSA self-describes itself:
"The Boy Scouts of America is one of the nation's largest and most prominent values-based youth development organizations. The BSA provides a program for young people that builds character, trains them in the responsibilities of participating citizenship, and develops personal fitness."

Let's see:

It is a "values-based" organization.

It provides programs that "build character"

and trains young people in the "responsibilities of participating citizenship"

This organization has been such a horrifying failure at living, much less teaching, these values,  that it should be shutdown and the non-profit status revoked.

Child sexual abuse can and has happened in many organizations.  I would never consider shutting down the BSA for that reason alone, although it might be possible to convert me to that position.

I would shut down the BSA and file criminal charges against every living person involved in the cover up, every person who knew about the abuse and took no action, and those that were enabling and the facilitating of child sexual abuse.

I would do the same with every person who knowingly and intentionally withheld case information related to claims and facts related to child sexual abuse in the BSA.  This would include all those involved in the extensive legal battle to "protect" the perversion files and in doing so protect the child molesters.

Have they ever given even a moments thought to the trauma suffered by the boys and how it has damaged their lives, their relationships, their sense of self.  Do they simply not care if these men, young and old, ever get the help they need.  Do they feel no obligation to help fill the gaps of "character, trustworthiness, etc. that were destroyed in the BSA.

The current leadership of the BSA has demonstrated by its actions that it cannot be trusted to self-regulate and all of their files and documents should be open to law enforcement so that the process of justice can begin. 

FROM THE BSA WEBSITE

"Leadership Selection

The Boy Scouts of America takes great pride in the quality of our adult leadership."

This is the top leadership that has fought tooth and nail, at tremendous cost, to protect the actual and accused sex offenders in their own perversion files.   This is TODAY's leadership!!!!