CO & CT--Not about Guns, but about Rage

"What goes into the mind, comes out in the life"

“That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”

The recent senseless slaughter of dozens of innocent people in Colorado and Connecticut has spawned a widespread discussion of gun control and how to stop random shootings. These events, and others like them, are so traumatic, words cannot adequately describe or explain them.  I submit all this talk about guns is a smokescreen devised by society and politicians to avoid dealing with more fundamental issues and causes that lie outside the realm of lawmaking. For starters, if the laws regarding gun control currently in place were enforced, perhaps we would see less gun violence. There are a number of factors that underlie the violence and rage associated with these events. To understand them is to understand the cause of the rampages. Some of these factors are:

First, America has adopted an anti-God paradigm, thereby invalidating for many the moral teaching of the Ten Commandments, for example. The new secular approach presents no cultural imperatives for behavior.   Instead, we teach our children that life, except for one's own, is pretty much a disposable entity. We have legalized abortion and call the destruction of unborn life a “choice.” We have adopted a healthcare program that appears designed to usher older Americans more quickly to the Promised Land, and call it “end of life planning.” If the sanctity of life is not honored, then terminating it carries few barriers of guilt or fear.

Second, our society casually disregards the marriage commitment of “Till death do us part.” With a divorce rate exceeding 50 percent, marriage, just as with unborn children and the elderly, has become disposable. Rarely do we read about the impact of divorce on children—their pain, their behaviors, and their perception of themselves as the guilty ones. In most cases, we hear that children are resilient, or that the divorce creates a “better environment” for them. The statistics below, however, tell another story. They highlight the connection between fatherless homes and the violent and self-destructive behaviors of affected children that result in self- and externally-focused violence.

Fatherless children represent:
•63% of teen suicide
•70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions
•71% of high school dropouts
•75% of children in chemical abuse centers
•80% of rapists
•85% of youths in prison
•85% of children with exhibit behavioral disorders
•90% of homeless and runaway children

 A question that may be far more important than how to control guns would be how to stabilize and restore the unity and integrity of the family.

The third factor that is an underlying driver of violence in our society is the pestilence of child sexual abuse. We love our whales and gerbils, and we don’t hesitate to stand up, speak out, and make our voices heard at the slightest hint these creatures might be mistreated. We need the same courage and determination to protect our children, especially those who cannot speak for themselves. Statistics from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta reveal that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually molested before age 18. Estimates suggest there are 42,000,000 adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the USA today.  Survivors of child sexual abuse may suffer with any combination of the following destructive behaviors (and others not listed here):

ü   Shame, disgrace, silence, torment, confusion, distrust,
        self mutilation, marginal existence, isolation

ü   Drug and alcohol dependence (70-80%)

ü   Depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, eating disorders (80 – 90%)

ü    Suicidal thoughts/attempts (20-30%)

ü    Difficulty forming long-term relationships

ü    Sexual promiscuity that leads to teen pregnancy (60%)

ü    Prostitution (>90% have been sexually abused)

ü    70-80% of serial rapists report they were sexually abused as children 

The sexual violation of a child in any form can be a powerful driver for the anger and violence that leads a few to act out in the most visible and tragic ways. 

Last, society becomes preoccupied with catastrophic events like the Colorado or Connecticut shootings, but let me tell you about another kind of murder of innocents.  This event passed quietly on the news and rarely got the visibility that is reserved for gory and sensational events. John Burbine was indicted on 100 charges of sexually violating the children his wife was hired to care for (click for details on Wakefield Sexual Assaults). She knew he was a registered sex offender and, it appears, he “cared” for only very young children with no capacity to speak, videotaping the abuse perpetrated on children between 8 days old and 3 years old; there may be many more victims to surface and more charges to be filed.

These are murders that leave the children alive and carrying no visible scars, but damaged for a lifetime. In 5, 10, or 15 years, they may exhibit the behaviors listed above, and society will label them “bad kids.” Maybe in that group is the next Adam Lanza. There have been no placards, tears, flowers, or candles for these children.  John Burbine didn't need a gun to murder the innocence of those children. Remember, there are an estimated 42,000,000 adults survivors of child sexual abuse in the USA and there are many John Burbines among us.

We always want the quick fix and outrage about guns is an easy place to go. There are no easy or quick solutions. We treat the symptoms when we deal with guns. We address the root problems if we deal with the source of the anger and rage that makes it OK for a person to take lives randomly and without mercy. The real solution lies in a more serious focus in our educational system on learning basic life skills. Just as we have a Physics teacher teach our kids Physics, we need a comprehensive and professional approach to teaching “Life Skills.” As an example, children learn communication, interpersonal negotiation and anger management from parents-by observing.  In most cases, parents do not even realize they are teaching these skills. In many cases their skills, learned from parents who were equally ill equipped for the role of teacher.  As a result, the teaching is always 1-2 generations behind the needs of the day.
Authored by: Tom Scales

Award Winning Author, Speaker and Child Advocate

Co-Founder, The Innocence Revolution